Pretend for a moment you are walking down Granville St at 2am after leaving the bar. You are with a few of your friends, and as you walk past an alley, you notice someone getting beat up. A man is being pummeled by three other assailants, and it doesn't look like it will get any better anytime soon. What do you do?
Take some time to think about this.
(If this doesn't work for you, what about someone getting robbed? An older couple? A woman being assaulted?)
Most often we would freeze, not knowing whether to intervene, to call for help, or to keep on walking. Personally I would probably call the police or ambulance to allow those who are trained to handle the situation, as it's not within my ability to settle it. But how many of us would be comfortable walking by taking no action?
A settling thought might be: regardless if we were there or not, it would happen anyways. That had we not been there, it wouldn't have changed the outcome. But at the end of the day, you were there . . . you did witness it . . . and you have a choice.
For all of us, it puts you in an awkward, uncomfortable position. The reality of the situation is that you have seen it, and you now have to make a decision between action vs inaction. Without beating around the bush, sometimes it's nicer not to know, not to see. Out of sight, out of mind. By not being faced with that immediate choice, with that immediate feeling of obligation to do something, we are able to continue living our lives content, without that interference.
Now let's extend that situation. How close does a crime have to be to you, in order for you to feel compelled into action? How much do you have to witness something before you get that uneasy feeling in your stomach?
When I returned from Zambia, some people asked me: "what was the thing you realized you took for granted most". At first my answer was the laundry machine. After doing laundry for 4 hrs every Saturday in the sun, you became nostalgic for the good old Maytag appliance. But upon re-evaluating it, the luxury we take for granted the most, is the choice to know. The choice to know.
We all have the choice to watch the news, read the newspaper, learn about the problems in the world and take action to fix them. We all have the choice to turn off the TV, flip the newspaper page, change the radio station . . . the choice of inaction. That's my biggest problem, is that we have the luxury of turning a blind eye to what we know is unacceptable. And half the time we don't even realize how LUCKY we are to have that choice. Everyday we are walking by that person getting beat up. Everyday we are walking by that person getting robbed. Everyday, that woman getting assaulted.
I'm not saying that we should all become Saints or get rid of all our possessions out of guilt for privileges that we were born with. I'm not saying that you should not be able to live a happy life, because in fact, it's not your fault that the world is the way it is. But perhaps, that uneasy uncomfortable feeling we get when we witness something horrible, is not something to avoid. Maybe that feeling is not hurting us.
On the contrary, I think that feeling is compassion. Empathy. Maybe it's the very essence that makes us human. Or maybe it's the good will in man, that sometimes we forget is still there. If you get that uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach, good will is within you. The question is what choice you make.
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5 comments:
Wow looks like I get to be the honoured first to comment on your blog. First off, congratulations on all that you're doing...everyone back home is very proud of you. But unfortunately this message isn't going to be filled with sunshine. I agree with you that the gut-wrench we in the 'developed world' feel in the face of tragedy is important. It is a start. Maybe it is a sign of compassion; a desire to help. But for most it certainly does not involve empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and identify with another's situation. How many of us can really identify with someone in the third world? It's a rare thing. In most cases I think what is felt is a passive compassion, or a weak sense of guilt. We see suffering and feel temporarily saddened, maybe even outraged, then the thought is replaced by the desire for a cafe grande or some other immediate luxury. This is where the challenge lies; how do we move past compassion? How do you move the 'West' past a desire to help towards a demand for action?
- 10 points if you guess the author
Well thank you for the comment. Hopefully there will be more so that this blog can serve more as a discussion than a one way flow of ideas. On your first point I would have to agree with you. Perhaps empathy is the wrong word to describe what I meant. You couldn't be more right when you said that we can't really relate to the way people live in developing countries. Maybe we are lucky for that as well. Labeling that feeling as compassion and particularly a weak sense of guilt sounds more accurate. All round, I would describe it as knowing that something is wrong and that something should be done.
The second point you raise couldn't be more real. How do we move past compassion? For many, including myself, the world's problems can seem to big to change, and especially from Canada where we are so removed from everything. This leads to a sense of inability, which is paralyzing. The answer to that is to find some action, some outlet, for people who would like to move past compassion. Something that someone can do from Canada that will address that problem.
I will post more on that thought later. Thank you for posting
I think to get the general population in a developed country to overcome compassion and step into action requires something that brings it close to home. You're right when you say that we are so far removed that is hard for anyone in Canada to empathize with the hardships of someone in poverty in Africa. I think the work that you are doing is a really an effective way of doing that. We know you and hear about your experiences and it brings Africa closer to us.
I am one of those people that believe we are all connected, and I do understand, that sitting from the comfort of my home, writing on my laptop, hardly makes a case for how we can move past merely "feeling" and actually effect change. But it begins with intention, to at least know that things can be better. It's at least our responsibility to have an awareness. Ultimately, our attempt to "help" is really a disguise for the bigger lessons we learn from the people living in these difficult and destitute circumstances, who still choose to have hope, who choose to have strength, and who choose to be compassionate, themselves.
And that's what I think is the most important part that you wrote about... our power to choose. We can have the intention, the desire, then acquire the knowledge, and decide to act. Deciding to ignore the situation is still an action, and it is a constant decision we face every moment. I personally believe that you have to start somewhere, and that even the small things count.
hey scooter,
hmmmmmm....happy to read this post for myself even though you told me about it this morning. good thoughts nicky, i'm chewing on them.
- a.rae
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